Running Late

We’ve become such a society where we over-pack our schedules and we’re busy busy busy all the time. We sleep less hours than we used to, we eat our meals faster, and most of us would love to work less hours so that we can get on to the rest of our plans for the evening. J I witnessed something completely ridiculous this morning as I was pulling out of my driveway to go to work; there were three different people running to catch the bus at the end of the block. Perhaps they all slept late? Maybe they’re squeezing in a little jog for exercise on the way to work? I just found it so amusing. My pattern is to plan too many fun activities in the evenings and weekends to the point that I often have to rush to move from one to the next. Things get piled on top of each other, and that pesky matter of transportation between events just gets in the way! I consider myself a very punctual person, so I don’t like to be late for anything. It’s especially challenging during the summer when we have such a limited amount of good, warm, sunny days to cram in all the fun before winter comes crashing in again. I’m still waiting for someone to find a way to invent that one extra day each week that we’re all craving. Then we’d have oodles of free time and we could slow down the pace, right?

Why Do People Watch Reality TV?

I
just
don't
get
it.

A Peek at How the Other Half Lives

In Michigan last weekend, we tagged along with two good friends to three different parties at their friends’ homes. We were in awe of the large, gorgeous SUMMER homes of these folks, the many expensive cars parked in the driveways, and the guests’ variety of clothing and jewelry with brand names such as Cartier, Prada, and Dolce & Gabbana. And although there were a few pretentious ones in the bunch, I was pleased to meet quite a few nice, down-to-earth people. In addition, the hosts of each party were all very kind and generous. Granted, we were only seeing everyone in “party mode” and were not getting a feel for their daily life or work personas or anything beyond just casual conversations. I’m sure there were some catty conversations during and after each party criticizing various guests who weren’t wearing the right clothing or driving the right car. I might add that we saw evidence of a fair amount of hair-dying, botox, and plastic surgery amongst the guests – I’m not judging; just observing. I suppose some of the individuals work grueling hours every week or are in debt up to their eyeballs, and I can’t help wondering if they’re genuinely happy with all of their wealth and baubles. Our society tends to strive for a very comfortable lifestyle, always reaching for more money, status, recognition, and power. And regardless of one’s lot in life, often we just keep wanting more. How many people do you suppose would honestly say that they are satisfied with how much they have and are happy with where they are in life at exactly this moment? I’m sure glad that I find contentment driving a Honda Civic, wearing sunglasses purchased from Target, being at a job where I rarely have to work more than 40 hours per week, and growing vegetables in my little garden. Sure, it would be great to have piles and piles of money, but that doesn’t make life carefree and easy.

Please Don't Hate the Bikers

I was reading an article the other day about a local biker who was ticketed for running a stop sign. Interestingly, they didn’t state whether she was on a bicycle or a motorcycle…they only referred to her as a “cyclist”. People assumed they meant “bicyclist” so a bunch of folks piped in with comments about the article. Apparently, there are a lot of drivers who are not very happy to share the roads with bicyclists. I was a little surprised at how they take such a strong us-against-them attitude. Drivers get bent out of shape when they see bikers run stop signs, and some are under the impression that we bikers don’t pay taxes to maintain the roads…although most bikers also own and drive cars, so that argument doesn’t hold much water. Bikers need to be very cautious on busy streets and at intersections, because there are always drivers who don’t watch carefully for bikers. In a bike vs. car collision, you know who’s at a distinct disadvantage, and unfortunately, there are probably a fair amount of drivers who don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for the bikers. In their opinion, we’re taking up valuable space on “their street”. Maybe with the surge in gas prices this year causing a larger number of people to use bicycles for transportation, we’ll start to get a little more sympathy from drivers…but I’ll still be cautious just to be on the safe side!

Doesn't anybody cook anymore?

We’ve become such a society of convenience when it comes to cooking and eating. People have busy lives, so we look for fast, good food (and sometimes good fast food). Most people enjoy eating at restaurants because it allows them to sit back and enjoy a meal while other people do all of the prep work, cooking, and clean-up. We have our favorite restaurants where we know we’ll get a consistently good meal, and perhaps dine on food that we don’t know how to prepare at home. You can also go to grocery stores and delis to shop for food that’s quick, easy, ready-made, etc. There are so many advantages to all of that, yet I can’t help wondering why cooking has taken such a back seat to other hobbies and activities in our daily life. Those of us who like to cook can list many reasons why we enjoy it – it’s a creative endeavor, it can be a way to save money or eat healthier, it allows us to eat in the comfort of our own home, there’s joy and satisfaction in preparing a meal for oneself or family and friends, and the list goes on. I feel sorry for those who say that they don’t know how to cook or assume that it has to be a big chore even to prepare one dish to take to a potluck. Cooks usually have some favorite dishes that they know they can whip together with either very few ingredients or in a short amount of time. And here are two “secrets” that I embraced a long time ago. First, cooking is sometimes just a matter of assembling ingredients...Making chili can be as simple as chopping a few vegetables, opening several cans, pouring it all into a crock pot, and turning the knob. :) And the other secret to keep in mind is that it’s perfectly acceptable to change ingredients in a recipe to suit your own tastes: take out what you don’t like, add new ingredients, change amounts, be creative, and have fun!

Fussing over Babies

I’ve always found it interesting that women tend to gush over babies, while most men I know don’t appear terribly interested in other people’s babies, even if they adore children. I’m sure there’s some innate baby-yearning in women that I’ll never understand. And obviously, not every woman in the world loves children, wants to have her own children, or gives a rat’s behind about other people’s children. But still…anytime a woman brings her new baby to the workplace for show-and-tell, you can be sure that a group of women will swarm around, coo at the baby, ask how much the baby weighed and how long she was at birth, and ask about the crib and stroller and feedings and all manner of other new mom questions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…it’s just an interesting phenomenon. I enjoy babies and children myself, but I just don’t get all that excited about being around babies. There’s certainly that element in our culture that dictates that men shouldn’t show too much emotion, so maybe that’s why men opt out of the “baby circles” when they converge. Now, point me in the direction of a group that’s discussing the latest cute thing that their cat or dog did, and I’m there in a flash!

The Elusive Gay Man / Straight Man Friendship

I’ve always had a lot of friends in my life, and I don’t consider someone’s sexuality to be the most important thing about that person. We do tend to gravitate toward other human beings for various reasons, and of course, sexuality and attraction play a part in that. It tends to be easy for gay men and straight women to be friends with each other and to form a natural connection. Is it because we’re both attracted to men? Is it because we can display feminine traits and appreciate that about each other? What seems to be less common is a strong friendship forged between a gay man and a straight man. I have quite a few straight, male friends in my life, but generally my closest friends are other gay men.

Recently I got to know a few of my partner Bernie’s coworkers a lot better while we were all on a company trip together. It was so much fun hanging out with them, and I didn’t feel shy about being gay or feel like I had to act a certain way to fit in with these guys. They are completely comfortable being around gay men. A lot of gay boys grow up feeling so different from other boys and being cautious about expressing their true selves. They worry about being teased or being seen as less masculine because of their sexuality. With my straight male friends, most of the time our differing sexuality is not an issue at all, and at other times, they express an interest in learning my perspectives. They don’t treat me in any kind of inferior way, and we even teasingly flirt with each other for fun. I never get the impression that they’re mocking me in any way. Thankfully our culture is getting more tolerant, despite many conservative lawmakers…but that’s a whole other topic!